Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
