sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
