new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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