found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
