I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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