It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
