there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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