Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
