I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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