Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
