so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
