I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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