Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize