You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
