I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
