plz talk dirty to me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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