you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
