oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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