Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
