tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
