dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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