I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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