if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
