We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
