Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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