biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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