Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
