OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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