just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
