if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
