we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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