dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
