He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
