i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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