You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
