he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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