What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize