The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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