im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
