My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize