Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
