am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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