Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
