At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
