Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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