That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
