PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
