Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
