i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize