I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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