What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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