I just made out with a guy for $7.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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