Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
