if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Little spoons don't ask big questions
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
