I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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