it wasn't lemon gatorade
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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