There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
