I wannas sexs uuuuu
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
