There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
