bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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