You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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