It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
