he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
