Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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