week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
