Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
