Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize